Angry Mob 3: Persistant, ain't we?
by Panthergirl
Summary: The Angry Mob is back...again. This time, they're in their final battle against the most unspeakable villian. Now with a llama! Oh. My. Gawsh. I UPDATED!
1. Here we go again

(Yes! It's here! The third story in the Angry Mob trilogy! Now with actual humor, much better than the store brand! Also with a new and improved dose of exclamation points! So sit back and relax, put your feet up. That is unless you're reading this while you're driving. If that's the case, then for PETE'S SAKE, QUIT READING THIS AND DRIVE!!!!

Akiro- You're so eccentric.

Me- I AM NOT ECCENTRIC! Wha- Hey! What are you doing here?

Akiro-I came to make sure you'd open the story right without wasting everyone's time.

Me- All right, all right! Here we go!

Akiro- That's better…

Once again, it was a sunny day in Sunrise Springs. The birds were listening to their CD players, the sheep were playing video games, and all was right with the world. Then, Spyro came out of a portal and started running towards the big cave. He stopped right before he hit the wall, punched in a number on the button panel, and ran inside.

Meanwhile, in the Angry Mob's secret hideout….

Elora finished dusting a bookcase. "Finally! We're done cleaning!" she said, satisfied. The whole hideout was spotless, and their newly acquired pet llama was dozing on the couch. (Yes, they've got a llama now. His name is Leroy! Do I need a reason to add Leroy the Llama to the cast?) "Now we are officially back in business." Hunter came down from the attic, where he had just finished putting some boxes away. "Man, now that Clem's finally defeated, we've really gotten this place looking nice."

"And it just took seventy-three hours of non-stop scrubbing, too!" marveled Bianca. "All we have to do now is take that really big wheelbarrow that we put all the dust and dirt in and dump it outside."

Suddenly, Spyro ran through the door, slipped on a wet spot, and went flying through the air, landing right smack-dab in the middle of the couch. (Hah! Bet you thought something was gonna happen to the wheelbarrow, didn't ya?!) "Guys!" he yelled. "We have trouble."

The entire Angry Mob suddenly crammed into the room, pitchforks ready, torches lit, and the tar was simmering gently with a pinch of…

"We've got a major problem on our hands! Look at THIS!!" Spyro announced as he pulled out a jar of pickles. "I can't get the lid off this jar!"

Everyone gasped! Hunter grabbed the jar and tried to remove the lid. "You're right! It's stuck!" he exclaimed. "Who can we find who is muscular enough to remove the lid?"

"I am!" came a voice. Everyone turned to see who it was. It was Bentley! "I shall now take the infernal jar of pickles and separate it from its stubborn lid!" he said, taking the jar. He grabbed the lid with both hands, and with all his strength he twisted it!

"EEEERRRGGHHHH!!!"

The lid stayed where it was. "Um, heh heh, Let me attempt that again." Bentley tried again. "OOOF!" he gasped. He continued trying to twist the lid off. Elora moved closer to Spyro. "So how much glue did you put on the lid?" she whispered.

"Several jars."

"Ooo! Good one!"

(Three hours later)

Bentley had collapsed on the floor, the jar of pickles falling from his hand. Everyone was standing by with medical equipment, just in case he should pull a muscle. Bentley sat up again and everyone stood back. He pulled out his club and whacked the jar with it. It shattered all over the floor. "Who wants pickles?" he asked.

"Bentley!" shouted Bianca. "We just finished cleaning that floor!"

"Sorry. I'll go get a mop." said Bentley. He ran for the mop, knocking over the wheelbarrow. All the dust fell into the air vents and was immediately scattered all around their secret hideout.

"Oh great!" shouted Bianca. "Now we've got to go to the store and get some more cleaning supplies and clean all of this up!"

Everyone quickly put on a hat.

"Um, what was the point of that?" asked Elora. Sheila shrugged. "We're just trying to put some action into the story."

"Well forget the hats, quick! To Home Depot!" shouted Hunter.

They quickly ran out the door, jumped on their motorcycles, did a donut, and pulled into the parking lot of Home Depot which was conveniently located next door. They parked, hit the remote control lock button, and went inside.

"Hello?" asked Spyro.

"Hello…hello….hello…hello….." came the echo. The entire building was deserted. A tumbleweed rolled past. "Where is everybody?" asked Elora.

"Eh, forget it. Let's just go to Wal-Mart." said Hunter. So they left the building and found all their motorcycles tipped over. "Hey!" exclaimed Spyro. "Who did this?"

"I did!" someone shouted. It was some guy they didn't know! "Ha! This is the first step I shall take to alert the Angry Mob of my presence here!"

The Angry Mob gasped. "You'll never get away with it!" shouted Hunter. "We'll stop you!"

"You and what army?"

The Angry Mob removed their hats. "This army!" Hunter yelled. It was the guy's turn to gasp. "The Angry Mob! Wow, I didn't recognize you under all the hats! Well, cower under the awesome power of…um." He quickly ran to some nearby bushes. "What do I do now?" he asked. A big muscular guy wearing a sweatshirt that said "Coach" emerged from the bushes. "Tell them who you are and what your evil plan is!" he shouted.

"Oh yeah!" the guy they didn't know ran back over to the bikes. "Ahem! I am your worst nightmare! I am the person whose very name will leave you trembling! I am the greatest evil this world has ever known! I am Melvin!"

The Angry Mob burst out laughing. Melvin pouted. "Stop that! You're not doing it right!" Now the Angry Mob was rolling on the ground, sides splitting. "Hey Melvin!" Spyro managed to gasp through his hysterical laughter. "Whose the other guy?"

"This is my coach. I'm a new villain and I need a little support."

More laughter….

"A villain who needs a coach? That has got to be the silliest thing I've ever heard of!" exclaimed Elora.

"No it's not!" shouted Melvin in a rage.

(Three hours later)

The Angry Mob's giggles had finally subsided and they were all sitting on the ground, catching their breath. The coach nudged Melvin. "Tell them you evil plan." He muttered. Melvin nodded and began.

"Listen up, Angry Mob! I have come to announce that I am going to take over the world!"

"So what else is new?" asked Bianca. Melvin was getting frustrated. "You're supposed to cower in fear!" he yelled.

The Angry Mob got back on their motorcycles. "Yeah, yeah." said Spyro. "Come back when you get a real life." They drove off into the sunset, which was odd because it wasn't even noon yet. As it turns out, it was a fake sunset, painted on a brick wall. "Dang." Said Hunter.

Meanwhile, Melvin pouted. "I'll show them I can be a real villain! They'll be sorry! I'll make sure of it!"

"Good job!" said his coach. "That was a perfect vow of revenge!"

**And….cut! There you have it! The first chapter of Angry Mob 3! This one took me forever to write because I've been depressed lately. But then today we went to see A Series of Unfortunate Events and now I feel strangely cheerful. Huh, go figure. Well, I'm sorry to say this story won't be on any regular schedule, so just keep you eyes open for updates.**


	2. NO! NO! NOT THAT!

**Finally! Another chapter up! I'd like to thank everyone who's reviewed so far. I'd also like to reply to any questions asked in the reviews. Ahem!**

**Princess Brianna-Jane- I was going to put all those people in the story as the main characters, but I'm lazy and didn't want to take the time to introduce everyone. Don't worry, they'll all be making cameos in randomly selected chapters. **

**Well, seeing as that's the only question...**

**Akiro- Start the chapter already!**

**Me- Okay! I'm going already!**

**This chapter's going to be a little short. I'm trying my best here, I've got a lot of stuff going right now. **

Back at the Angry Mob's hideout, there was a new crisis to attend to.

"AAAAAAAAAA!!!!" screamed Ripto. "Leroy the Llama ate all the ice cream while we were at Home Depot!" Now, that's actually prettyfunny because how many people get to have a reason to say that in their life?

The llama was sitting calmly on the couch where they had left him, surrounded by empty ice cream cartons. He blinked.

"See?! He admits it!" Ripto yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the llama. Spyro shushed him. "Forget about it. We still have the emergency ice cream reserves in the secret compartment."

"Um, Spyro?" Hunter began, pointing to an open, empty compartment in the wall. "Looks like Leroy got to that too."

"Dang, well then, who wants to go to Wal-Mart?"

Everyone quickly ran out of the room

"Well, don't all get up at once." Spyro muttered to himself.

Meanwhile, at Melvin's secret hideout (Located in the local Home Depot)

"Great, just great." Melvin raged. "First the Angry Mob doesn't take me seriously and now the author gives away the location to my secret hideout! Now what?"

Melvin's coach, whose name also happened to be Coach, pulled up a chalkboard and started drawing what looked like a football play. "Okay, you've already announced your presence. Now, you've got to develop an evil plan, release your secret weapon, capture the Angry Mob, tell them your secret plan, leave them to their doom, and execute your plot!"

The chalkboard was now covered in little Xs, Os, and arrows. Melvin studied the chart. "Hmm, secret weapon eh? What's my secret weapon?"

"That is up for you to decide! Now drop and give me fifty!"

"Hey, Coach, this isn't a sport."

"That's what the losers say. Now drop!"

Melvin sighed and got down on the floor. He managed to do six push-ups before he collapsed. Coach blew his whistle. "Close enough! Now, get crackin'! Find that weapon! Go, go, go!"

Melvin quickly ran to the back room, where he saw four large wooden crates. He tried to reach the lid of the first one, failed, and then ran to get a stepladder. He climbed up the ladder and opened the lid of the first crate. Inside were forty-two cases of Spam.

"No, that'll never work." Melvin muttered as he pushed his stepladder to the second crate. This lid was harder to open, and he had to use a crowbar. Inside this one was an assortment of ray guns. "Hmm...maybe." said Melvin. He hurried to open the next crate. He opened the lid to see a skunk.

He quickly shut the lid before the skunk saw him.

"If it's not in this crate," Melvin gasped as he pushed the ladder over to the final one, "I'm going with the Spam!"

He had to break off two locks, a dead bolt, and peel off all the bio-hazard stickers before he could use his crowbar to pry up the lid. He took one look at what was inside, gasped, and shut the lid really quickly. He paused for a moment before peeking into the box again.

"Oh, no! It's horrible! It's disgusting! It's hideous! It's despicable! It's a downright horror to the natural world!" Melvin screamed. "It's.....MY SECRET WEAPON!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

"Good work!" snapped Coach. "Now, release that thing onto the Angry Mob and hit the showers!"

Melvin and Coach both enjoyed a good round of evil laughter as they unleashed the weapon.

* * *

The Angry Mob was sitting in their hideout, watching cartoons when the doorbell rang. "Someone's at the door." Bianca observed.

"Since when do we have a doorbell?" Spyro asked as he got up to answer it. He opened the door.

Standing there was a beautiful, female dragon that was about his height and had sparkly pink scales, glistening rainbow wings, and deep blue eyes. She fluttered her long eyelashes at him. "Hi!" she said. "I'm Spyra!"

(Cue 'Psycho' theme and scream.)

**The plot thickens! In case you still can't guess what Melvin's secret weapon is, I should tell you that it's a dreaded Mary-Sue! How can the Angry Mob survive this horror? Will Melvin succeed in his evil plan that he will reveal later? Will the Angry Mob get out of this alive? Tune in next time and find out!**


	3. Are guys REALLY this stupid?

**Akiro- Panthergirl is asleep right now. She had to get up at five A.M. on Saturday, spend an hour on a bus, wait around all day at Wylie for her UIL events to start, and then deal with eleven upperclassmen on caffeine highs on the bus ride home. So that means today I'll be updating the story.**

**(Presses play button)**

**-**

Spyro's eyes bugged out, his jaw dropped, and his tail wagged back and forth really quickly. She was beautiful! "So! What brings you here, Spyra?" he asked.

Spyra took a deep breath and launched into her dramatic Sue monologue:

"I was just a young girl when Melvin burned down my house and severely injured my family. Ever since then I have sworn to get revenge on him! One day, I was walking through here and I heard of some superheroes who called themselves the Angry Mob. I knew instinctively that they were the only ones who could help me achieve my goal. So now, I'm seeking them out to join forces with them. Do you know where they are?"

Now, if Spyro hadn't been so distracted by her beauty, he would have realized that she was a Mary-Sue, and should have been sedated and released into the wild immediately. But of course he didn't so oh well. "Why! You've come to the right place! I'm Spyro, and in here is the rest of the Angry Mob! Follow me."

Spyra giggled and stepped inside, brushing against Spyro. He showed her into the living room. All the guys looked up, and immediately started gasping, wolf-whistling, and of course, other things guys do when they see a pretty girl. Hunter was thumping his foot against the floor like a rabbit. Meanwhile, the female members of the Angry Mob glared angrily at the males. Bianca quickly tied a blindfold around Hunter's eyes, but he pulled it down to keep looking.

"Hey everyone!" shouted Spyro. "Meet Spyra, our newest member!"

All the guys said "Hi, Spyra!" and flocked around her. Meanwhile Elora gasped. "Oh no! Her name is Spyra, she's our newest member, and she's so beautiful she attracts men outside of her species!" she exclaimed. "Do you know what that means?"

"She's going down?" Bianca guessed, pulling out a deer rifle and cocking it. "No, no!" Elora took the gun away and tossed it out of the scene. "It means she's a MARY-SUE!"

All the girls gasped. "Of course!" Bianca yelled. "Why else would Hunter act like that?"

"Because of us being girls, we're immune to her Sue-ish charms." Elora explained. "We've got to save the guys before they get trapped in the Sue's vacuum!"

It was too late. All the guys were already drooling over the female dragon, who was clearly interested in Spyro alone. "Thank you, thank you." She said in a sultry voice. "And now, to celebrate my initiation into the Angry Mob, I'd like to say a little something..."

The lights dimmed and Spyra was suddenly standing erect, holding a microphone and wearing a sparkly sequined evening gown. A spotlight focused on her as some dramatic piano music kicked in. "Oh no!" Sheila groaned. "She's gonna sing!"

"_My time is drawing near again,_

_the time to give up all the pain_

_and let my feelings show._

_This time has come so soon today_

_And when it comes I stand to say_

_The things you ought to know_

_Whenever-"_

"ALL RIGHT! THAT'S ENOUGH!" Bianca shrieked as she tackled Spyra and knocked her out of the spotlight. Immediately the music stopped, the lights came back on, and the evening gown was no longer there. "Hey!" Spyra exclaimed. "What was that for?"

"Because you're a Mary-Sue!"

Everyone gasped. "No!" exclaimed Hunter. "She's not a Mary-Sue!" Bianca and all the other girls dragged Spyra into the closet and locked her in. "Let me out!" she yelled from behind the door. "This is so rude!"

"Guys! Why'd you do that?" demanded Spyro. All the other guys were wanting to know the same thing. Elora sighed. "She's a freakin' Mary-Sue!" she yelled. "She's ruining the story with her Sue ways!"

"Oh come on." Some random guy said. "Just cause she's prettier than all you girls put together doesn't mean she's a Mary-Sue."

"WHO SAID THAT!"

All the males quickly stepped away from one really shrimpy-looking shrimp with bug eyes. "Um...no I didn't?"

"GET HIM!" all the females yelled as they quickly drew torches and pitchforks. They chased the shrimp all throughout their hideout and finally off a third-floor balcony. "Okay, now where were we?" Elora asked as they returned to the living room. While they were gone, the guys had let Spyra out of the closet and were now getting her to sign autographs.

"Okay, this is getting pathetic." Bianca said. She blew a whistle, getting all of the guys attention. "All right, people, listen up! We're not going to drag this story into the ground by trying to show you guys that that thing is a Sue! So make a choice now, it's either her or us!"

FIVE SECONDS LATER

"Stupid guys..." Bianca muttered as she and all the female members of the Angry Mob sat on the ground outside. "Well, you gave them a choice." Elora stated. "Now what should we do?"

"We do the only other thing we can do!" Sheila exclaimed. "We get the exterminators!"

Meanwhile, in a nearby bush...

"Yes! My plan is working!" Melvin chuckled evilly. "Now that I've introduced a Mary-Sue into the story, the Angry Mob stands divided!"

"Good job!" said Coach. "Now, what is your evil plan? It better be a good one, or it's bleachers for you!"

"It is simply this: With the Angry Mob divided into two useless halves, there will be no one left to defend Avalar. With Avalar unprotected, I'll broadcast high-frequency radio waves throughout the realm. These waves will be mixed with subliminal show tunes, and cause the whole world to become one big musical! While everyone is dancing, I'll step in and TAKE OVER THE WORLD! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Hmm...interesting. But what about the girls of the Angry Mob?"

"Girls are way too emotional to actually work together."

"HELLO!" shouted Elora. "We're right here! We can hear every word you say!" Melvin slapped his forehead. "How! Why! I thought we were in perfect secrecy!"

"Melvin, the author only said you were in a nearby bush." Bianca explained. "She didn't say how far away you were, and you ended up being in a bush three feet away."

"Curse you Panthergirl, and your lack of proper detail!"

While Melvin yelled this, the Angry Mob females got behind him and, working together, gave him a wedgie. "Well, see ya later Melvin!" Elora called as they ran away. "We've gotta go see an exterminator about a Mary-Sue!"

"Oh! This smarts!" Melvin exclaimed in a high-pitched voice. "But I'll get over this soon enough. Coach! Let's go find some show tunes!"

**Akiro- Well, that's all for now. This is what, chapter three? Well, don't worry. The plot will arrive sooner or later. **


	4. The end of an annoyance

**Yet another chapter of this insanity. Oh, and If you'd care to know what Melvin looks like, imagine a really shrimpy-looking guy with plaid pants that are pulled up too high, a white shirt with a pocket protector, those incredibly thick square glasses, and a nametag pinned to his shirt. Coach is a big muscular guy wearing sweats and a whistle. **

Elora led the girls of the Angry Mob to a phone booth. "Okay, you, get outta there! We need the phone!" she yelled throwing Sandy the sheep out of the booth. "Hmph! Girls..." he muttered as he walked away. The girls crowded into the phone booth and shut the door.

"Now, who should we call to get rid of the Mary-Sue?" asked Bianca. Sheila flipped through the phone book. "How about the Animorphs? They helped us get rid of Clem.

Elora dialed their number. All the girls waited for a moment.

"Hello?" came Marco's voice.

"Hi! This is the Angry Mob. Well, the girls of the Angry Mob actually." Elora said.

"Oh, hi guys! What's up?" in the background they could hear a battle going on, and the other Animorphs yelling.

"Are you busy?"

"Um...kinda."

"Because we were going to ask you guys to come get rid of a Mary-Sue for us."

"Hold on a second..." Elora could hear Jake talking to Marco for a moment, then "Sorry, we're in the middle of something. Jake says to introduce the Mary Sue to someone else that she can bug."

"Well, thanks anyway. Bye!" Elora hung up.

Marco hung up and picked up his game controller and went back to playing. "Hey! No fair, I was on the phone!" he yelled as Rachel's character shot his character.

"Tough luck!"

The doorbell rang, and they heard the sound of it being answered, then some weird babbling and a scream. Cassie put down her game controller. "I'll go pull Ax off the pizza guy." She sighed.

Meanwhile, The Angry Mob girls managed to squeeze out of the phone booth. Fortunately, they had plenty of butter. "We need to find someone else to dump this Mary- Sue on." Elora said. "Who do we know?"

"I've got a better idea." Said some other random female. "Why don't we bring in the Mary-Sues natural enemy?"

"Who?"

"Come on, I'll show ya where he lives!"

Five and a half seconds later, they were right back at the Angry Mob's hideout.

"Ug...story warping..." moaned Bianca. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

"Don't back down now! We've got to save the guys from the Mary-Sue!" encouraged Elora. She opened the door and they went inside to find pure chaos. Spyra was sitting on the couch telling some of the guys how she escaped from an evil castle, some of the other guys were fighting over who liked Spyra more, and Leroy the Llama had been kicked out of his place on the couch and was standing in a corner looking very cross.

"Hey girls!" yelled Hunter. "Guess what? It turns out that Spyra is actually Spyro's long lost twin sister!"

"Geeze, it's getting worse!" Bianca whispered. "Okay buddy, do your stuff!" she said, pushing their new friend out in front. It was a fat, balding guy who wore a comic-book-promoting T-shirt, sneakers, and carried a laptop. "Okay Spyra," shouted Elora, "Meet Logic!"

Spyra's face fell as she saw the guy standing in the living room. "Oh no!" she gasped. "Oh yes!" said Logic as he fired up his laptop. "I have here a complete account of this Angry Mob story, and I have a few questions to ask you."

"No!" yelled Spyra as she tried to run. Elora and Bianca caught her and held her there. All the guys stood around stupidly.

"Now," began Logic, reading back into the story, "How could Melvin have severely injured your family when you were a young girl if he was only created some weeks ago?"

"I...um...he..." Spyra struggled to answer, her fear plainly obvious.

"And how did you instinctively know the Angry Mob could help you when you only heard about them once?"

"Um...er...I..I..."

"And just now you said that you were Spyro's long-lost twin sister. How come he didn't recognize you or seem to remember anything that happened in your story?"

"Well...because...he...he...he..."

"If you're really Spyro's twin, then why aren't you purple like him?"

"Um...ah...genetics!...Um...I"

"And why are your wings rainbow colored, which is a physical impossibility in dragons?"

"Um...t-t-t-t-they um"

"I...I...I...I DON'T KNOW!" screamed the Mary-Sue as she writhed in pain. Logic had done his job. Spyra struggled against Bianca and Elora, but to no avail. She gave a final unearthly shriek before exploding and was sent back to the land of Sues from where she came.

"Thanks, Logic." Said Sheila.

"Don't mention it. Those guys should snap out of the 'Sue Trance' within a few minutes. Now, there's a few things I'd like to point out about this story."

"Okay, bye!" shouted the girls, pushing him out the door as he continued pointing out plot holes. "First of all, Melvin's plan is technologically impossible because..."

SLAM!

He was cut off as they shut and bolted the door behind him. The guys woke up. "Hey, where'd Spyra go?" asked Spyro.

"She's gone." Said Sheila. "She was a Mary-Sue."

"Oh no!" exclaimed Hunter. "A Mary-Sue, here?"

"We took care of it." Elora said. "But poor Leroy is never going to be the same again!"

Leroy was sitting in his spot on the couch, watching cartoons. He looked nonchalant.

**Me- zzzzzzzzzzzzz**

**Akiro (sneaks up behind with cymbals and starts banging them really loudly)**

**Me- YAAAAAHHHHHH! What was that for?  
**

**Akiro- It took you more than a stinkin' month to upload three typed pages! **

**Me- What? (Looks at update dates.) Holy cheese! Has it been that long?**

**Akiro- Now you sit yourself right down at this computer and get that next chapter up. Move it, missy!**


	5. Slightly miffed?

**Me- Can this be? I'm actually updating? **

**Akiro- It's a miracle! Now post it, quick! Before you lose their attention!**

**Me- Okay!**

Melvin was sulking in his evil chamber of evil. Yep, he was pretty miffed at the fact that he didn't make an appearance in the last chapter.

"I am gonna kill that writer." He muttered to himself as he flipped through the pages. "Just for that, I'm gonna use songs from 'Grease' in my hostile takeover. And to make sure that the Angry Mob doesn't get in the way, I'm going to leave them a little 'present'.

Meanwhile, the Angry Mob was in their own hideout, busily plotting a plan of action! A plan so clever, so effective, so brilliant, so mind numbingly amazingthat anything else was unacceptable in comparison!

"Gee, you just raised the bar for us." Spyro told the narrator sarcastically. "Thanks. Thanks a lot."

"Okay, we need a plan to defeat Melvin that fits with that intro." Hunter stated. "Does anyone have any ideas?"

There was a moment of silence, theneveryone raised their hands. "Yes, you." Hunter said, pointing to the shrimpy-looking shrimp. "Why don't we find another Mary-Sue to set loose on him?"

"Girls? What do you think?"

The Angry Mob females tied the shrimp to a rocket and launched him to Delaware.

"Okay, so that idea is out." Spyro announced. "Does anyone have any other ideas that don't involve beautiful women?" Every hand went down. "Oh come on!"

"I've got an idea!" some other completely random person exclaimed. "Why don't we just form a mob, become angry, and then attack?" Spyro considered this idea. "That crazy! So crazy...it just might work!"

The Angry Mob quickly found their weapons in an amazing array of cut scenes, fast music, and cookies. Since it had been a while since their last battle, they were finding their weapons all over the place. Under tables, in the couch cushions, and in the shower drain. Why that stuff was in there no one will ever know. Some found their weapons quicker than others and hung around eating brownies untill everyone was ready.

"Are we ready?" asked Spyro. The Angry Mob held up their weapons. "Okay! Now, lets get angry!"

"YEAH!"

The Angry Mob focused really hard. Really really hard. Even harder still. This concentration intensified until...

"I'm not angry," said Sheila, "I'm only slightly miffed."

The Angry Mob groaned. They weren't angry! The whole reason they called themselves the Angry Mob was because they were angry and they were a mob. Besides, The Angry Mob sounds a lot more threatening than The Slightly Miffed Mob.

"Great. Just great." Elora muttered. "Not only are we slightly miffed, but look at those guys!" She pointed to several members of the Angry Mob who were busy making daisy chains. They quickly hid the chains as Elora pointed to them and began whistling innocently.

"Good grief, guys. Show some backbone!" Hunter exclaimed. Spyro thought for a moment. "I know! Let's go to Pizza Hut! That always riles us up!"

Everyone cheered and gathered their official Angry Mob weapons and followed Spyro to Pizza Hut.

MEANWHILE

All the teenage employees were still busy cleaning up from the Angry Mob's last visit. "Stupid Angry Mob." One of them muttered. "Why can't they find another pizza place to wreck?"

"SHHH!" hissed another guy, putting his hand over the first teenager's mouth. "They'll hear you!" the two of them glanced warily at a video camera that was aimed at them.

The Angry Mob burst through the doors. "We're on a mission to save the world!" shouted Spyro. "So get us twenty-seven pepperoni pizzas! And some sodas! Quick!"

The pizza guys got them their order so fast, that it looked like someone had speeded up the tape. Spyro then pushed the play button on the remote and all the action slowed down.

"Hey! That's neat!" Said Elora. "Lemme try it." She took the remote and pressed rewind, and all the pizza guys started going in reverse. "Gee, thanks a lot Elora." Muttered Agent 9. "Now we've gotta wait even longer for our pizza to get here!"

"Oops."

"Now, what's our next course of action?" Spyro asked.

"We find Melvin and prevent him from turning the world into one big musical!" exclaimed Elora. "And then we stop the ultimate evil from controlling our minds!"

"You mean reality shows?" asked Hunter.

"I was going to say five-minute fashion trends, but that works too."

Suddenly, a UPS guy burst into the restaurant. The Angry Mob gasped dramatically! The pizza guys gasped dramatically! And some other people who aren't important to the story in any way but they were there anyway gasped dramatically too!

"I have...a package from the Angry Mob!" the UPS guy said.

"Um, don't you mean '_for_ the Angry Mob'? asked Sheila. The UPS guy handed her the package. "Whatever. Just sign here, here, here, here, here, and initial here. No, here. Not there! HERE!" Sheila signed for the package and the UPS guy flew away. Everyone thought this was odd, but then they noticed that he had been wearing a jet pack.

"What's in it?" asked Spyro. Sheila opened the package. "Wow! It's a box full of Tetris games!"

There was a hand-held Tetris game for each and every member of the Angry Mob in that box, and they immediately grabbed them and started playing. "Wait!" exclaimed Bianca. "This is Tetris!"

"So?" asked Hunter.

" As in one of the most addicting games ever made!"

"And?"

"I mean, it's so addicting that a person could play it for hours on end!"

"And?"

"As in, we could be sitting here for days, playing video games, while Melvin is threatening the world!"

Hunter blinked. "I feel like you're trying to make a point, Bianca." He stated.

Will the Angry Mob succumb to the addicting powers of Tetris? Or will they make it out of the pizza place alive?

**Akiro- At the rate you're writing this, we'll never know!**

**Me- Shut up. You know I had rehearsals after school every day.**

**Akiro- One Act has been over for weeks! You've just been stalling.**

**Me- I couldn't think of anything funny to write!**

**Akiro- Whatever! I'm writing the next chapter!**

**Me- Like you could get it out faster than me.**

**Akiro- You're on! If the next chapter isn't up by next Sunday, you can give me a wedgie.**

**Me- But you don't wear-**

**Akiro- A fur wedgie.**

**Me- Oooo...that's gotta hurt. **


	6. TETRIS!

**Akiro- Hah! It's up! **

**Me- You just got lucky that time! **

**Akiro- You're just jealous 'cause I update faster.**

* * *

"Um...Angry Mob?" the pizza guy said, "It's closing time. You have to leave. Hello?"

The Angry Mob was still sitting around the table, playing Tetris. How the table held all of them is a different story, but we'll discuss that later. Right now, there was no hope for them. They were hooked on the simple, four-cube addiction of Tetris.

Bianca suddenly put her game down. "Okay. I'm bored." She announced. The other members of the Angry Mob were still playing. "Great, they're hooked. Now what do I do?"

The light came on in her head, and immediately burned out. "Let's see. First I need to change that light bulb, and then I need to find a way to get the others away from those Tetris games! "

Fortunately, Bianca didn't have to do anything because at that very moment, the batteries in the Tetris games died. "Hey!" Spyro exclaimed. "My game died!"

"Mine too!"

"And mine!"

"Everyone's game is dead!"

Hunter stood up on the table. "Well, guess what? I'm angry!"

The rest of the mob agreed with Hunter's anger, and they proudly declared that they were angry too. "Quick! To the pitchfork mobile!" Spyro yelled.

"We don't have a pitchfork mobile, remember?" Elora said.

"We do now! I got one on Ebay!"

"YAY!"

The Angry Mob ran out of the Pizza Hut to see their new pitchfork mobile parked outside. They all climbed inside and buckled up. Spyro, in the driver's seat, revved up the engine. "Here we go!"

They took off with blinding speed...for about three seconds. Then, the motor sputtered and died.

"Aww..."

"I'll check under the hood." Hunter volunteered. He got out and began examining the engine.

"How's it look?" Spyro asked.

"Well, we've busted our fabricated half-inch air pipe. That's gonna totally mess up that five gallon fictitious fuel pump and leak all over the flux capacitor."

"So you have no idea what's wrong?"

"Not a clue."

Spyro sighed. "Well guys, it looks like we're gonna have to walk really quickly." Everyone groaned. "Aw, man!"

"Now we're really angry!"

"Let's take out anger out on Melvin in a very violent and humorous way!"

And so, pitchforks raised and torches ablaze, they set off to take their anger out on Melvin. They set out on a dangerous and perilous quest that took them through mountains and across deserts, and over hill and dale.

"Hi Dale."

"Sorry Dale."

"That's okay, I'm used to it."

They battled ferocious monsters and traveled through dark, mysterious forests.

"And for the curious," said Spyro, "Here's a slide show of our trip!"

"Here's a picture of us fighting monsters in the desert. Here's one of us fighting monsters on the mountains. Here's one of us and the monsters in a group shot. Here's one of us with Dale, and this last one that's only darkness and eyeballs is us in the forest."

Their whole journey, though exciting and bold, was really quite pointless because Melvin's secret hideout was right next door to the Pizza Hut.

"Gee, you'd think we would have noticed that earlier." Hunter said.

"Nevermind that, we've got a Melvin to beat!" Spyro yelled. "ATTACK!"

* * *

**Me- You know, if you'd waited three more hours to post this, you'd have lost the bet.**

**Akiro- (Sticks out tongue) Nyah!**

**Me- But my chapters are longer!**

**Akiro- But mine are faster!**


	7. Destroy Home Depot!

**Akiro- Panther, get your tail at this computer and upload this chapter right now!**

**Me- Quit yelling. I'm getting to it! **

**Akiro- Come on, this is chapter seven! You've only got four more to go! **

**Me- So you're starting the countdown already? **

**Akiro- Yup! By the way, you do know you're getting into this nasty habit of updating roughly once a month, right? **

**Me- Come on! You know I'm trying to be original and funny at the same time!**

**

* * *

**

Now thoroughly riled up and completely miffed, the Angry Mob prepared to lay siege on Melvin's fortress. Well, they would have, had they not been sitting around the table eating milk and cookies. Spyro glanced up and saw the people reading the story. "Whoa!" he exclaimed. "Guys! Another chapter's starting!"

"Yaah!" everyone else exclaimed, standing up and hurriedly getting into costume.

Bianca searched around for her pitchfork. "Geeze! At least warn us when we're starting up the plot again!"

"Forget the stupid plot and get comical!" Hunter shouted. "We've got a Melvin to beat up!"

The doors on the Home Depot (which just happened to be where Melvin's hideout was.) were locked. The Angry Mob grabbed a nearby battering ram and charged at the doors. The door opened immediately, with a loud bang!

"Everyone! Raise your weapons and begin chanting in complete synchronization!" Spyro yelled. And everyone did just that! "Charge!" he yelled again. The Angry Mob ran into the store, knocking over and breaking everything in their path, save for a single shelf. Hunter hurried back, pushed over the shelf, and then went to catch up with the rest of the mob.

"Hurry! We must mindlessly destroy everything in the store before we can find Melvin!" Bianca shouted.

"Um, why?" asked Red, who had joined the Angry Mob when no one was looking.

"Because we've still got several chapters to go and we're running out of stuff to do."

The Angry Mob went all over the Home Depot, breaking stuff. They broke boards, they broke shelves, they broke the garden section, they broke the bank, and they broke seventeen horses. The cowboys were very happy, because they didn't have to break the horses themselves.

"Hey, you break it, you buy it!" whined one of the cashiers. Sheila hopped over to him and held out her hand.

"Pick out two." she said.

"One, two!" the cashier said, picking out two fingers. Sheila used the fingers he selected to poke him in the eye. "OW!" Then she turned him around, gave him a wedgie, and kicked him away.

SOME TIME LATER

"Did you guys break everything?" asked Spyro.

"Yes." the Angry Mob said.

"Did you break the power tools?" he pressed.

"_Yes_." the Angry Mob said. Spyro crossed his arms and stared at them. They were all either staring at their feet or looking around.

"Don't lie to me! Did you break the power tools?"

"No..."

"I thought so. Now, you go break those power tools or you don't get to beat up Melvin."

"But that's not fair!" the Angry Mob whined.

"No buts! If you don't like it, you can go beat up Clem."

"But Clem's not fun to beat up anymore." Hunter complained. He reached off screen and pulled Clem out of a plot hole. Clem was holding a half-eaten carton of ice cream, was wearing a bathrobe, and looked very confused. "See?" Hunter punched Clem in the face rapidly a few times. "I'm not having fun!"

"Neither am I!" said Clem. Hunter pushed him back through the plot hole.

"Go break the rest of the power tools!" Spyro ordered. The Angry Mob grumbled as they went to break stuff. "And don't slouch!"

Finally, everything was broken. "Good! Now, let's get Melvin!" The Angry Mob ran to the back of the store and opened the door. Standing there was Melvin, wearing nothing but polka-dot boxers and drinking coffee. The Angry Mob screamed! Melvin screamed! The readers screamed! The writer screamed!

Melvin stared back at all these people looking at him. "Are we starting up the plot again?" he asked. The Angry Mob nodded as they covered their eyes. "Should I put some pants on?" he asked. The Angry Mob nodded again, even more vigorously.

They waited patiently for Melvin to get dressed and get back in the story. "Shoot. No one even tells me when we're starting the story again." he muttered. The Angry Mob surrounded him.

"We've got you now, Melvin!" shouted Spyro. "The Angry Mob has triumphed again!"

"Oh yeah? Well you've forgotten one thing!" Melvin shot back. "We still have a few more chapters to go, how are you going to drag the story out now?"

"We'll...um..." Spyro began. Suddenly, Melvin's coach ran out of the bathroom.

"Dang plot..." He muttered. "Okay! Let's see some escape techniques, Melvin! Go! Go! Go!"

"You'll never escape, Melvin!" Hunter shouted.

"Oh no?" Melvin pointed. "Look!" The Angry Mob turned to see what he was pointing at. They didn't see anything.

"What are we look...oh foo." Elora groaned. While they had been looking, Melvin and Coach had escaped! It was all a clever ploy to distract them by pretending that there was something behind them that they needed to acknowledge!

"I think the readers understand that concept." Spyro told the narrator. "Come on guys! We've got to figure out where he went!"

"Do you think this might be a clue?" Bianca asked, pointing to a dotted line that began where Melvin was standing, wound all over the destroyed Home Depot, and off into the fake sunset.

"Quick! Follow that dotted line!"

"Hey! Around here we follow the yellow line!" yelled the yellow line, coming out of nowhere. The Angry Mob groaned at the appearance of the annoying line, and quickly tied him up and abandoned him at a drive-thru. Then, they were off to get Melvin!

**Akiro- It's about dang time! **

**Me- I'm starting to run out of ideas. **

**Akiro- Oh no! C'mon, you've got three chapters to go. Where's your muse? **

**Me- Akiro, you ARE my muse! **

**Akrio- You make it sound like it's MY fault you update late. **

**Me- Actually, it is. **

**Akiro- No way, I'm not your muse for _this_ story. **

**Me- Well, who is? **

**Akiro- I'll tell ya later.**


	8. Not the narrator! Nooo!

**Me- Will you tell me now?**

**Akiro- Later...**

**Me- Quit messing with me!**

**Akiro- I'll tell you if you write this next chapter.**

**Me- Deal! begins typing**

**Akiro- I should've thought of that six months ago.**

* * *

The Angry Mob was diligently following the trail left by Melvin and his coach! Well, they were following the trail, at least. Oh, all right! They were sitting around the demolished Home Depot watching TV. "Well, whaddaya expect?" Spyro asked. "We're bored!" 

Come on, you've still got to finish the story!

"No!" shouted the Angry Mob, crossing their arms.

Well, why not?

"First of all," Hunter said, "We're starting to get repetitive. We get angry, we beat up the bad guy in a violent and humorous manner, we get pizza, and the ninja goats make a guest appearance."

So? What's wrong with that?

"We need to do something different! Something different yet unexpected!" Elora exclaimed. "And you're not helping!"

But I'm the narrator! I'm just here to tell the story!

"Fine job you're doing." Hunter whined. "You can't even help us get this story on track!"

That's it! I try and I try, but I never get any respect around here. Well, you guys just lost yourself a narrator. I'm going to Tahiti!

"Fine! Go! See if we care!" yelled Spyro.

(a beat)

"Hello? Hellooo?"

"I think he left!"

"Good going, Hunter!"

"Hey! Elora started it!"

"Don't blame me for this! You just egged him on!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Stop fighting, you guys!"

"Who said that!"

"Who said _that!"_

"Oh, no! Without the narrator, we can't tell who's speaking!"

"We can't even tell where we are! We could be anywhere!"

"Don't worry! Maybe the emergency narration will kick in soon!"

"What emergency narration?"

"Aiieee! Something touched me!"

"That was me!"

"Who are you?"

"I'm the shrimp! Ow! Why'd you hit me?"

"Because you're the shrimp."

"Where _is_ everyone?"

CLICK!

Spyro: What was that?

Hunter: Something happened.

Spyro: (Gasps) Oh no! The story switched to script format!

All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Elora: Nobody panic! Let's just get out bearings and find out where we are and try to work with the script.

(Angry Mob looks around and sees they're still at Home Depot)

Bianca: This is good, now lets go find Melvin. But we have to go carefully! Otherwise the script might go out!

Hunter: What do you mean?

Bianca: Script format is a very dangerous way to do a story. One error and the entire plot will go down the drain!

Spyro: (Checking 'Rules of Fan Fiction' book.) She's right! Everyone, be careful!

(Angry Mob tiptoes in synchronization along the dotted line. Funny things happen along the way.)

Spyro: D'oh! Okay, who wasn't careful and caused the script to wipe out half the description?

(Shrimpy-looking shrimp raises hand.)

Spyro- No, you're too small to cause that much of a disturbance. Ah well.

(Smacks the shrimp with a bigger shrimp.)

Hunter: Now we have to re-create everything we did on the way.

Elora: How come?

Hunter: For the benefit of the reading audience! We better hurry too, look how many of them left because of the script format by itself!

Elora: Eek! You're right. Hurry people! Re-create the incident!

(Angry Mob sets up temporary stage with scenery similar to the location they are currently in.)

Hunter: Okay, so I was walking along like this...(Walks to center stage.)

Melvin: And I popped out of nowhere. (Appears on stage)

Spyro: So Hunter quickly drew his gun.

(Hunter pulls out gun. Melvin puts hands up.)

Elora: So then Hunter pulls the trigger, and the gun shoots bubbles.

(Hunter pulls trigger; gun shoots bubbles at Melvin in the shape of a beard and mustache.)

Melvin: So I got really mad and reached over to strangle Hunter.

(Melvin reaches out to strangle Hunter.)

Spyro: But then the rest us snuck up behind them in disguise, like so.

(Angry Mob sneaks up behind Melvin dressed as a bush.)

Bianca- And then we did this!

(Angry Mob gives Melvin big wedgie. Pulls underwear over head.)

Melvin (in high voice)- No you didn't! You did something else!

Spyro: Oh, right!

(Angry Mob duck back inside bush. Big mallet pops out of bush. Mallet hits Melvin.)

Melvin: No, not that! You did that funny thing, remember?

Elora: How could we have forgotten?

(Angry Mob surrounds Melvin, makes balloon animals, rubs balloons in Melvin's hair. Static cling causes Melvin to shoot upwards, hit stage light, and bring it crashing to the ground.)

Melvin (Crawling out from under light; slurring) No! No! No! You guysh did that other funny thing! You knowsh, the one with the shpinning and the shlapping?

Angry Mob: Oh! _That_ funny thing!

(Angry Mob ties Melvin to fan blade; turns fan on high. Melvin spins faster and faster making woo-ing noise like Curly. Melvin goes flying off fan blade into passing blimp; pops blimp, falls and lands on target. Blimp lands on top of him, followed by airplane, weather balloon, battleship, elephant, and safe. Angry Mob opens safe. Melvin falls out.)

Spyro: Was that it?

Melvin: Yesh! That wash it exactly! (Groans, passes out)

Sheila: Oh no!

Angry Mob: What?

Sheila: Do you know how much humor was lost in that sequence because of the script format?

Spyro: (Slaps forehead) Crud! How much?

Sheila: Too much! We're loosing readers fast!

Hunter: NOOOO! Our only hope is for the narrator to forgive us for being mean to him and return to save the day! Quick everyone! We must shout pleas of mercy into the sky in the vain hope that he will come home!

Okay, I'm back.

"Wow! That was fast!" Hunter remarked. "So you heard out cries and came back to us?"

No, actually my flight to Tahiti was delayed, so I decided to come finish narrating this chapter.

"Cool." Spyro said. "So why was the flight delayed?"

(At the airport, on the plane)

"Attention passengers, the pilot has been locked out of the cockpit so we are unable to take off until we find the key or unless someone has a paperclip." said the flight attendant.

Inside the cockpit, the gremlin from the Bugs Bunny cartoon was sitting in the pilot's seat, hacking at the controls with a wrench.

(Back in the story)

The Angry Mob gave the narrator a hug. "Aww, thanks for coming back." Bianca said. "And you're just in time too! Check it out, we've captured Melvin!"

Good job! Well, this chapter's over. Good-bye!

"Wait! No! Don't go!" Spyro yelled. "We have to finish the story!"

Don't worry! I'll send in a temp.

* * *

**Me- So, another chapter down. Hey, where are you going?**

**Akiro- I've got to narrate the next chapter!**

**Me-Why?**

**Akiro- What? You don't remember what you just wrote? I'm subbing for the original narrator!**

**Me- Oh, yeah.**


	9. Now for something completely different

**Me- And now, after not updating this story for quite some time now, I present the next chapter in this series!**

**Sabina- Yes, for you see that she has now been watching-**

**Me- What are you doing here?**

**Sabina- I'm subbing for Akiro who's narrating this time.**

**Me- Oh, right!**

**Sabina- Here we go!**

* * *

Now that Melvin has been caught, the Angry Mob can't think of anything else to do. So they've gotten together and would like to perform a skit in this chapter. This begins in a jeans store downtown, jeans everywhere, and standing at the counter is Hunter. The door opens with the little jingle bell sound, and Darkeiya enters the store. The rest of this story will now switch to from present tense to past tense, just to tick off the Grammar Nazis.

She waked up to the counter. "I'd like to buy some jeans, please." She said to Hunter.

"Um...sorry! We're fresh out!" He said hurriedly. "Good-bye!"

Darkeiya looked around at all the jeans. "Fresh out? What do you call these!"

"Oh. These." Hunter said, looking around nervously at the all the jeans. "They're um...they're being recalled because they're too flammable." Hunter stood there, pleased with his explanation. Darkeiya raised an eyebrow.

"Too flammable? How can jeans be too flammable?" she demanded. "Look, I just wanna buy some jeans."

Hunter came out from behind the counter, grabbed Darkeiya by the wrist and pulled her to the door. "Oh, look at the time! I'd better be closing up for lunch!"

"But it's only ten thirty!"

"I'm feeling hungry right now, so I'm closing up. I might not even be back all day! Look over there!" He said, pointing out the window. "There's a jeans store right across the street! I'm sure they've got a much better selection at incredibly low prices."

"But I was told to come here." Darkeiya protested. Hunter turned around and pulled the bewildered ocelot to the middle of the store.

"Told to come here, eh?" he asked, looking around.

"Yes, by the lady at the gas station."

"Did she have a peg leg, a patch over one eye, and a tattoo on her arm?"

"No, she..."

"Good-bye!" Hunter tried to wheel her to the door again but she pulled away.

"Why are you so keen on getting rid of me?" she asked. "Is something going on around here?" Hunter held up his hands.

"No! Of course not!" the cheetah said. "There's nothing going on here! Is there anything going on around here?"

Elora appeared at the back door, strangling Ember, "No, there's nothing going on around here!" she replied. She disappeared.

"See? There's absolutely nothing," Hunter said as a pair of hands reached in from off-screen getting ready to grab Darkeiya, "going on around here!" He waved his hand in front of his neck, signaling 'stop that!'. The hands went away.

Darkeiya looked around, then decided that Hunter was telling the truth. "Okay then. Can I just buy some jeans, please?" Hunter sighed with relief and went back behind the counter.

"Certainly! What kind do you want?"

"Um...Arizona brand."

"Excuse me?" Hunter asked, suddenly becoming suspicious.

"Arizona jeans. Do you have any?"

"So!" Hunter snapped, turning on her. "You thought you could get away with it, didn't you!" Darkeiya looked confused.

"What?"

"You've got some nerve," Hunter said, pulling out a gun, "Coming in here, acting like you don't know anything, and then asking for Arizona jeans!" Darkeiya paled and backed up as Hunter advanced on her.

"Erm...you know, I think I _will_ try the store across the street!"

"Not so fast!" Hunter growled, "I'm afraid only one of us is going to get out of here alive. Now, tell me everything you know!"

"But I don't know anything!"

"Lies! Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar!"

"I don't know! I swear, I don't know!" Darkeiya screamed as she backed against the wall. Suddenly, Melvin burst through the door armed with dodgeballs, followed by Coach.

"Up against the wall! Both of you!" He shouted. "Put your hands up!" Hunter dropped his gun and hurried to do what Melvin had said. He and Darkeiya pressed their backs to the wall and held their hands over their heads.

"Hey, there IS something going on around here!" Darkeiya exclaimed.

"No there isn't!" denied Hunter.

"Shut up!" Melvin yelled. He held the dodgeball back, ready to throw. "All right, Hunter, talk!"

"I'm not telling you anything!" Hunter said boldly. "You'll have to kill me first!"

"That can be arranged." Melvin said, threateningly. "I only want to know one thing: who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?"

The door flew open again, and this time Skip the ninja goat entered, armed with a bazooka. "Up against the wall!" She yelled.

"Who's that?" Darkeiya asked.

"That's Skip." Hunter replied. "Don't worry she's on our side!"

"Think again, cheetah." Skip said. "I'm on no-one's side! Stay at the wall!"

"Curse you!" Hunter yelled.

"What's happening?" asked Darkeiya worriedly.

"She's a back-stabber."

"Oh. Well that's unlucky."

"Now, all of you be quiet." Skip said, aiming the bazooka at them. "You! Melvin! Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?"

"Ya know, this is kinda exciting." Darkeiya whispered to Hunter. Sandy the sheep ran into the building, carrying a bomb.

"NOBODY MOVE!" He yelled.

"What's that?" asked Darkeiya.

"It's a bomb." Everyone answered, as if it were totally obvious. Skip dropped her bazooka and ran to the wall with everyone else.

"Listen up!" Sandy shouted. "I'm going to ask you a question, and I want the answer in less than five seconds, or else I'll blow this building to the moon!"

Everyone gasped!

"The question: how do Pop-Tarts work!"

Everyone, incredibly, said "Huh?" at the same time. Sandy lowered the bomb and smacked his forehead. "I'm sorry, guys. I've had a lot on my mind recently. Everyone shrugged it off, assuring him that it happened to everyone and not to worry about it. "Okay, okay," Sandy said. "Lemme try again. Oh, what was it I was going to ask?"

"Something about cookies?" suggested Darkeiya.

"Oh, yes! That's it, thank you!" Sandy cleared his throat and raised the bomb again. "Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" He demanded. "Five...four...three...two...one...zero!"

The five people against the wall cringed, awaiting certain death.

"Zero!"

Certain death didn't come. They stared at Sandy. "Oh, right!" He exclaimed, "I'm supposed to pull the trigger! Once more...five! Four! Three! T-"

At that moment, a panel in the adjacent wall flipped open and out slid Da Dark One, sitting in an evil-style metal chair and stroking a stuffed armadillo.

"Da Dark One!" Everyone exclaimed.

"Yes, I am." He said smoothly, "And I've got you all right where I want you! Isn't that right, Fluffy." He was addressing the armadillo. "Fluffy? Fluffy?" Da Dark One pulled out a revolver and shot the armadillo in the head. Tossing it aside he said "That'll teach you to play hard-to-get."

"What do you want?" demanded Skip.

"You all know very well what I want." Said Da Dark One. "I want to know who stole the cookies from the cookie jar! And I'm prepared to go to any lengths to get the answer." He pulled out a sword made of Dark Gems.

It had come down to this. Da Dark One held all the cards, the six of them were powerless to stop him, and soon the entire world of Spyro would be destroyed if he didn't get the answer.

Then, Darkeiya spoke up. "Um...it's almost noon." She said.

"Lunch break everyone!" Da Dark One announced, sheathing his sword. "Let's all meet back here at one." There were statements of agreement and casual conversation as everyone made their way out the door to their favorite restaurant. Everyone but Darkeiya, that is. She quickly ran to the counter and found the telephone.

"Operator? Get me the SFA, and hurry!"

(Cut to: Darkeiya standing in front of a big, purple SFA banner.)

"I knew what was going on the entire time, even though it didn't seem like it. My plan worked perfectly. 'Course I thought for sure when DDO showed up that everything would fall apart, but he made a very stupid mistake. He didn't recognize _me._

"I'm Darkeiya, an SFA Admin. The whole time I was working undercover on a top-secret mission. As soon as everyone had gone, I contacted the SFA, informed them of what was going on, and we had about eighty members waiting for Da Dark One in the closet when he came back.

"So for now, everything's fine."

(Cue: credits)

The song that ran under the credits:

Darkeiya, Darkeiya, Darkeiya of the SFA.

Darkeiya, Darkeiya, Darkeiya of the SF-

Darkeiya of the SF-

Darkeiya of the SF, SFA!

Yeah, it was a short song, but there were only like, three credits. Then, everyone in the sketch came out onstage and took a bow...

* * *

**Me- The chapter you have just seen was ripped-off borrowed from an episode of Monty Python.**

**Sabina- So _this_ is how you handle writer's block? Have everyone do a skit that's completely unrelated to the story!**

**Me- Look. I'm outta plot. Got a better idea?**

**Sabina- Why not kill the story now and let it die in peace?**

**Me- No, I've got to make it eleven chapters.**

**Sabina- Why?**

**Me- So it'll match the others! Look, it's supposed to be like a set.**

**Sabina- A stupid set...**


End file.
